Only One Life to Love You
by Zippity-Doo-Da
Summary: Romantic, childish James and indecisive, bipolar Lily are put together on a special assignment. The result is utter choas, mixed emotions and medical/mental breakdowns. Will the two opposites survive? Read and find out. L/J
1. Musings

Only One Lifetime to Love You

Disclaimer- HP stuff doesn't belong to me! Other stuff does… 

A/n: This will be very short. I know the whole Lily/James love/hate thing is terribly clichéd but… I hope this will be a little different. Lily is not typical sweetheart Lily. Hehe… I quite like her this way, she's more interesting. I hope you like…. At **_least_** 5 reviews… or I don't think I'll continue if I don't. I've been feeling a bit under-appreciated. BE A RESPONSIBLE READER AND REVIEW! Pweaseee!!!!!!! *sad face*

Lily's POV

Prologue- Musings of a Manic-Depressive

Hello. My name is Lily Malvina Evans. I am 14 years old. At my age, most people would say that my personality is normal. I'm quiet, bookish, shy, introverted… and a manic-depressive. Sound normal for a teenage girl? Well not for someone who attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

            Everyone else in school is happy, always smiling and playing pranks. But not me, not Lily Evans.  Scary, that's what they call me, scary. How the hell am I scary? I'm just different. That's what's scary to them, diversity. 

            You would think that in a school full of people, who practice magic, diversity wouldn't be a big deal… but believe me, it is. The very few _really_ popular kids seem to orchestrate everything. They tell the rest of the student body what's cool. What to wear, how to act, what hairstyles are hip, how to do make-up, etc., etc., you get the idea. But what the popular kids say is hip… definitely isn't me.

            For example, I've got bright red, almost knee-length hair; bright green eyes and a porcelain complexion. I'm about 5'1/5'2 and weigh 65 pounds; Definitely not the conventional idea of beauty. The most popular girl in school, Lurlene MacArthur, is what _everyone_ considers gorgeous. She's statuesque, blonde, blue-eyed, and wears a 36C… see why she's popular now? Yeah…

            Well, I digress… Where was I? Oh yes, my unpopularity. I've been in Hogwarts for 4 years now, and I've made one friend. Her name is Mirabella di Savoria, she's a 4th year Gryffindor like me. She's real pretty, looks so much like Lurlene that they could be sisters. She would be popular except she's a total non-conformist. 

            Back in our 1st year, Ria (which is what she insists on being called) got real mad at James Potter, the leader of the Marauders (who are a group of the three most popular guys in the school.), during Potions and dumped a wart potion on him. He immediately burst into huge, hairy, green warts. You should have seen it… classic.

            Ever since the potions "accident", every fashionable person in the school despises her. They waged an all out prank war against her for a full two months. That incident brought us together. I was the only person who fought with her. It earned me Lurlene and her dog pack's everlasting hatred, and made me more invisible and "out-castish" than I already was. 

            I don't mind being an outcast though… I prefer it actually. Ria is the only friend I need. She cracks me up… 

            But those aren't the only reasons I'm a pariah… I'm also a Muggle-born, or Mudblood as Lucius Malfoy (that slimy git!) would say. Muggles are non-magic folk for those of you who _don't_ know. Some people, namely the Slytherins, frown on non-Purebloods. Really stupid don't you think… Just like that thing going on right now in the US… with Martin Luther King Jr. The black-Americans want to be equal… Damn good idea if you ask me. It's quite juvenile really, to discriminate against some for a circumstance of birth they can't control… Well that's people for you, the ignorant masses jumping on the "differentness-hating" band-wagon. 

            Now I'm just rambling… something I do when I'm feeling down. I'm down quite often lately… ever since that day….

A/n: So…. Likie? No likie? Please review and tell me what you think…. So do you like Lily with this personality? I do… oh well… Flames welcome.


	2. Surprise Appointment

Only One Life to Love You

Disclaimer- All HP stuff (characters, places, etc…) belong to JK Rowling. Other things belong to me!!!

                                                *          *          *          *

      There's no such thing as chance;

      And to us seems merest accident

Springs from the deepest source of destiny. 

                                    ~Schiller~

*          *          *          *

                                                 Chapter 1- Surprise Appointment

            "Watch where you're going, you freak!" Lurlene MacArthur squealed.

            "You ran into me! Maybe if you took those fake eyelashes off, you could see what's right in front of you!" Ria retorted before rolling her eyes and walking away, dragging Lily behind her.

            Lily could hear the high-pitched shrieks of protest from behind them. She laughed, "Ria, you can't help but antagonize them, can you?"

            "Nope!" The pretty blonde grinned. "It's an impulse, what can I say?"

            Lily giggled and shook her head. Ria was her best friend in the entire world, she was great. Her real name was Mirabella, but she said that made her sound like a ball of fluff… so Ria it was. Ria actually came from her last name… di Savoria, get the picture? 

            Lily was secretly very jealous of her gorgeous best friend. She always had a witty comeback to dish out. She was smart, funny, interesting and original.

            Ria glanced at her watch. "GODDAMNIT!" she clenched her teeth. "That overgrown loofa made us late again! And for Transfiguration…. Mcgonagall's gonna kill us! Shit! This is the 3rd time!"

            The two girls made a run for it. Their classroom was almost all the way across the castle. By the time they arrived, they were almost 20 minutes tardy.

            "Shit… shit, shit!" Lily said in a wound-up voice. "I'm gonna murder that catty slut next time we see her."

            "Count me in on that one!" Ria said, opening the large oak doors.

            "And why are you late, Ms Evans, Ms. di Savoria?" The professor's shrill voice asked sternly from the front of the classroom.

            Lily gave her a sugary smile and put on her preppy voice. "We just had a lil' feminine trouble… you understand…" she gave her a wink.

            Professor McGonagall nodded. "Never-the-less, 10 points from Gryffindor each."

            Lily and Ria each nodded sweetly. They made their way to their seats, near the back of the room, sharing eye-rolls. James Potter, aka the Incredible Green Boil, and his best friend Sirius Black, sniggered at them as they walked past.

            "Feminine trouble, eh Bella?" James snickered as they walked past.

            "Shove it up your ass, Potter." Ria said softly. 

            "I didn't know you liked it that way."

            "I don't but I'm sure you do…" Ria winked at him, he glared at her.

            Lily and Ria took their seats, still giggling to each other. Over the course of the class, they became increasingly more bored. 

_Lils,_

_McGonagall talks like she's chewing her mouth! Did you ever notice that?_

_~Ria_

**_Ria,_**

**_She does! That's hilarious!_**

**_~Lils_**

****

_Lils,_

_I know… I'm bored…_

_~Ria_

**_R,_**

**_Me too! Hmm…. Did you ever notice how attractive Remus Lupin is?_**

**_~L_**

****

_L,_

_Are you kidding me?!?_

_~R_

**_R,_**

**_Nah… he is…_**

**_~L_**__

_L,_

_Whatever you say Lils… whatever you say…_

_~R_

            "Evans! di Savoria! It there something you want to share with the class." McGonagall shouted.

            Ria looked up. "Not really, Professor." She gave her a sickly sweet smile.

            McGonagall pursed her lips together. "Another 10 points each… Can't you behave for once!?"

            Two heads, one blonde and the other red, shook vigorously.

            As if saved by the bell, if rang and class was dismissed. The two girls quickly departed, laughing hysterically. 

            "Classic…. Classic…" They high-fived.

                                                *          *          *          *

            The girls arrived at dinner at exactly 5:30. Headmaster Dumbledore had asked the whole school to come, he had some sort of announcement to make. They took their usual seats at the Gryffindor table. Thankfully, Lurlene and the dog pack were mostly Ravenclaws. 

            "I wonder what Dumbledore has to tell us…" Ria said, Lily could tell that she was dying to know. After 4 years of being inseparable, they had learned to read each other like books. 

            "I dunno."

            "I hope it's not something gay… it more than likely is…" Ria sighed.

            "Most likely."

            "Hey guys!" The two girls turned to seen Sara Gould coming their way. Sara was another one of their little "group". She wasn't real close to them but… she was still their friend. All in all, their were five of them. And strangely enough… it was all five of the Gryffindor 4th year girls. The other two were Ayeka Tokugawa and Nichelle Scantlebury. 

            "Hey Sara…" Lily said.

            Sara sat down across the table from them. "You know what Dumbledore thinks is so important?"

            "We were just discussing the same thing." Ria answered.

            Sara shrugged. She was also real pretty, in a completely unconventional way, like Lily. Her ancestors were gypsies so she had a really angular face, with slanted, black eye, long dark reddish-brown hair and olive skin. 

            "Where's your entourage?"

            "They're coming."

            As if on cue, the two in question came bursting into the hall. The first girl was oriental, with long, straight black hair and black, almond-shaped eyes. The second was pretty ordinary looking. She was a tall brunette with greenish-brown eyes.

            "Miss us?" The brunette asked playfully.

            "No… we didn't, Nichelle." Ria answered sarcastically then grinned.

            Nichelle pretended to be hurt and threw her hand over her heart. "I'm wounded." She giggled and sat down.

            "Such a drama queen." Ayeka grinned at Nichelle. Nichelle grinned and nodded back.

            "ATTENTION STUDENTS!" The girls looked up to discover Dumbledore standing there, smiling. "I have an announcement to make!"

            The girls heard someone mutter "Obviously!" at the Slytherin table. Lily shot a glare in that general direction. She liked Dumbledore, we was a brilliant professor and above all, a kind man.

            "This year… we have decided to have a ball this year, in honor of the day of love. Valentine's Day." A wave of excitement ran over the hall. The other girls started twittering anxiously. Lily, Ria and the other three scowled at the ditziness that was all around them. Ria gave Lily an "oh-brother" look.

            "QUIET PLEASE!" All eyes returned to the headmaster. "Fourth years and above will be allowed to attend. The other professors and I have chosen two students, one male and one female, from each year to be on a planning committee."

            "Twenty galleons on Lurlene and James from our year." Ria said to Lily.

            "You're on!"

            The girls fourth and above were twittering even more than they had been before. All, except a few, wanted desperately to be chosen. Out of the corner of her eye, Lilly saw Lurlene smile a James and nod. _Hmph… probably._ Lily thought.

            "We will begin with 7th years and go down from there."

            Professor McGonagall stood up with a piece of parchment and began announcing the names. "7th year. Thomas St. Claire and Marion Bouska.  6th year. Harold Montgomery and Anabel Shaw. 5th year. William Weasley and Kimberley Seibert. And finally… 4th year. James Potter…"

            "No surprises there…" Ria said sarcastically.

            "and Lily Evans."

            Lily's jaw dropped. She mouthed the words "What the fuck…?" to Ria. Her friends all had the same "holy-shit" expression that she assumed was on her face.

"C'mon Ms. Evans. Move it on up here!" Professor Dumbledore called "Don't keep us all waiting." Lily looked around, she saw that all the other people had already moved into a chamber behind the head table. ((a/n: Yes, the same one from GoF)) She also saw the extremely angry expression on Lurlene's face. It made it all worth it to see that expression.

                                                *          *          *          *

            The room was lit up fairly well. Lily was the last in, so she had a good view of the rest of the students. They were mostly lounging around the fireplace. 

James saw her enter the room and smiled. "Well, the amazing Evans graces us with her presence."

"Shut the hell up, Potter."

"Whatever you say, your majesty." He said patronizingly. 

She scowled at him and started to say something but the teachers chose that moment to interrupt. 

            "Well! You all seem to be getting on well enough." Professor Flitwick, the Charms professor, squeaked.

            Lily snorted. Flitwick didn't know how wrong he was.

            "Of course Professor! We're like one big family." James burst out. Then out of the blue, she wrapped an arm around Lily. "Close as can be."

            "Kiss ass." Lily muttered to him. 

            "Always…" he muttered back.

            She slipped away from him and as soon as the professors had their backs turned, she began furiously brushing herself off. She glared daggers at James. _Grrr! I hope these robes can be saved…They're my favorites…Damn that James Potter!_ She thought, furious.

            "To begin with…" the Professors had turned around and were ready to get on with their instructions. "You will begin planning right away for this. You will all meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays, after class, in the Charms classroom beginning immediately. Now, you all run along to bed and I'll see you all tomorrow night."

            Lily dashed out of the room as soon as she could. Hoping to escape the dirtiness that always surrounded James. But before she was even down the hallway, she felt a hand tug on her shirt and yank her back. She lost her balance and fell back against something hard, it was James. 

            "Goddamnit Potter! Why the hell can't you leave me alone?"

            "Cause you're so damn cute when you're mad."

            "Leave me alone!" She shouted and shoved him away. She hurried off away from him, but he persisted. "Why the hell are you following me?" She turned around.

            "Because… we're in the same house remember… I have to go this way too." He replied, laughter in his voice.

            Lily felt really dumb, a feeling she wasn't used to. "Oh…. right…" She hurried off.

            "You know… if we're going to work together. We've got to learn to get along."

            Lily shook her head in exasperation and walked off, his mocking laughter following.

                                                *          *          *          *

            "LILY!!! WAKE UP SLEEPY-HEAD!" Lily felt something hard and heavy bounce on her bed. When she opened her eyes, she saw that it was Ria. "Gerroff me, Ri. I sleepy." Lily rolled over; she heard a thud and guessed that it was probably Ria hitting the floor. 

            "Get UP!" Ria bounced on her again. "Don't make me get Sara, Ayeka and Shelly."

            "Mirabella Evangeline di Savoria, get off my back this instant!" Lily yelled.

            Ria grabbed her heart in mock pain. "Oh…. the evil black curse. I'm… dying…" She fell off the bed and made a gagging sound. "The pain…"

            Lily laughed. "I'm up… I'm up."

            Ria bounded up from the floor. "Brilliant! Now let's go terrorize some preppies, m'kay?"

            Lily laughed. Scaring people was Ria's favorite past time. "Can I get some clothes on?" 

            "Oh… right…" Ria giggled. "Go, ahead. I give you permission."

            "Thank you ever so much. " Lily replied sarcastically. "So good of you, really."

            "Hurry!"

            Lily laughed and headed for her clothing.

                                                *          *          *          *

            "C'mon prongs! Details!" Sirius exclaimed.

            "Bout what, nothing to tell really. ''Cept that I have to hang out with that lot every Tuesday and Thursday night."

            "Harsh…" 

            "Not really, that just means I'll be able to create mischief from the inside."

            Sirius rubbed his hands together. "Brilliant." He had on of his famous prank faces on.

            "Always up to something." A soft voice commented.

            "Of course, Remus. Always."

            The sandy-haired Remus shook his head. "What this time?"

            "Oh nothing." Sirius's mischievous look stayed right where it was. "So Jamesie-boy, what of your crabby assistant?"

            "What about her?"

            "Bet Lurlene's pissed right about now."

            "No kidding. Did you see her face when they announced Evans's name? Whoa…" James shook his head. "Murderous…"

            "I truly don't know why you put up with her James." Remus said, his nose buried in his book. "She rather a snob, wouldn't you say?"'

            "Yeah. "Started Sirius, "But look at the size of her…"

            "She's very easy…" they stared at him, "going?"

            Sirius and Remus laughed, "I believe it." Sirius winked.

            James shook his head. "Dude, if she wouldn't kill me…. She'd be out before you could say "quidditch"."

            "What a touching admission, Potter." A female voice came form behind them. The three boys turned to see Ria and Lily standing there, looking amused. "Wait until Lurlene hears about it."

            "C'mon Ria! We have new to spread!" Lily grinned mischievously and grabbed Ria's hand and started to pull her towards the portrait hole.

            "Wait! No!" James yelled. 

            "Why should we Potter?" Lily asked.

            "Because I don't wanna die!"

            Lily and Ria exchanged "looks". "Let's do it!"

            James caught Lily by the arm and yanked her backwards. "No!" Lily still had a hold of Ria and both of them came stumbling backwards.

            "Arg!" Ria yelled, bounding up. She looked furious. "We were only joshing ya'. No need to take it to heart." She pulled Lily up to her feet.

            When the two girls tried to leave, Lily discovered that James still had a death grip upon her arm. "Kindly remove you fingers from my person, Potter."

            James looked down and saw his fingers wrapped around her wrist. "Oh… sorry 'bout that."

            The two girls, rather peeved, made their way to the hole. Just before they left, Lily turned and called to James. "See ya tonight _partner._" She giggled and walked out.

                                                *          *          *          *

A/n: Did you like it? I know it's rather short and boring. I'm having a mind-block, just momentary I assure you. I would like to thank:

**YvettE**- I've read your story too! =)

**Katia**- the scary thing was over done in the 1st thing cuz' of character development. It won't be that bad.

Tate Moso 

**Bijou/Star/JackThePumpkinKing-** Aww…. You're such a sweetheart. Thanks so much for the encouragement. 

And **Marion**- Yay! So nice! And you were my 5th review! And hadn't thought ratty about hair length but… yeah, it could do with a bit of trimming. =0)

In the next chapter: The first meeting! Mebbe a little L/J romance stirring up. And something bad happens to Lurlene! Yay… (she's my own character and I despise her… She probably won't last long cuz' I can't write chars that I don't like.)

BE A REPSONSIBLE READER AND REVIEW!


	3. Committee Meeting

Only One Life to Love You

Rated: PG-13 for excessive language.

A/n: In response to a review, I know that Lily does seem really happy for being a manic-depressive. But that's how it works. You have violent mood swings; it turns itself off and on at random. 

***************************************************************************

                                                Anger is a short madness.

                                                                        ~Horace

***************************************************************************

                                                Chapter 2- Committee Meeting

            "Damnit!" Lily was in a foul mood. She'd been having the most wretched day. _Must be because Ria got me up too early…_she thought. Plus, she was late for that godforsaken meeting.

            "Bloody professors getting me into this mess." She grumbled irritably as she burst through the door to the Charms class.

            "How nice of you to join us, Ms. Evans." said Marion Bouska, a 7th year..

            Lily gave "Little-Miss-Prissy" a sarcastic smile. "Yes, it was nice of me, wasn't it?"

            "Marion scowled and directed her to a chair by James. "Good thing we were just starting. You didn't miss anything."

            "Well good for me." Lily's voice clearly expresses her annoyance. But she took the seat and sat there sulking.

            "James studied Lily's dark expression. He realized she was having one of her oh-so-famous black sulks. _Best steer clear of her right now…_he thought.

            "As our first order of business…" started Thomas St. Claire, the self-appointed leader. "we will divide you into sub-committees that will be placed in charge of more specific details. Those committees will be music, decorations, food and general managing." He looked around.

            All the while during this mini-speech, Lily's expression became blanker and blanker. She didn't look so good, in James's opinion.

            Thomas ((a/n: it's the French pronunciation, so it sounds like "tome-a")) continued. "Naturally, Marion and myself will be in charge of management. Harry and Belle will take over music. Bill and Kim will take food and Lily and James shall have decora…" he was interrupted by Lily, who had taken out a bottle of pills.

            She looked up. "What? They're Zoloft." She rattled the bottle. "Muggle anti-depressants."

            Thomas gave her a patronizing look but continued anyway. "decorations. Since, I have noticed, we are I pairs of the same houses. It should be quite easy to accomplish things. If…" he looked pointedly at lily. "we all work together."

            The 5th and 6th years nodded, Lily was too busy looking at her hands, obviously not giving a whit as to what was being said, and James was too busy looking at Lily.

            "Mr. President" kept talking in the same annoying, nasal, monotone voice. "Now, I would like all of you to go back to your common rooms tonight and start working out rough outlines to be presented on Thursday. Understood?" More nods from the peanut gallery. "Good, you may go."

            Before the words were even off his tongue, Lily was up and out the door with James trailing right behind. He could hear her muttering fervent curses to herself.

            "Goddamn Prissy-boy, boss me around!" "Oh, Fuck this." "Bloody hell, this is ridiculous."

            James came up behind her. "My sentiments exactly. Well spoken, Lily." He had a strange, sudden urge to befriend her after almost 3½ years of hatred. 

            "Why the bloody hell did Dumbledore put me on this gay thing?" She was obviously too pissed at other things to be mean to him. For once, he had no urge to rile her.

            "Yeah, this is pretty gay."

"No kidding."

"But we might as well do it right, I don't want to have to listen to Thomas's annoying voice more than I have to."

"Yeah, guess you're right."

They reached the Fat Lady (lumpikins) and entered, Lily headed straight for her dorm.

"Wait, we have to work on this!" he called after her.

She sighed dejectedly. "Oh yeah… Let me get some ink and parchment and I'll be right back."

James sat down at one of the circle tables. He was utterly perplexed. Why all these sudden companionable feelings toward Lily? He was supposed to hate her! Why the change of heart? Oh my God! Was he… *gulp* **_maturing_**? It was too scary to comprehend.

Lily returned, bearing a black school bag. She had changed as well, he noticed. She was now dressed in baggy, black pajama pants, a light purple tank top and light purple socks.

            She took the seat by him at the able and started pulling out rolls of parchment. Her pills must have kicked in because she looked at little better.

"What first?" he asked.

"I dunno…" she shrugged. "Let's just get some general ideas down."

He nodded and they set to work.

                                    *          *          *          *

An hour and a half later…

"What are you talking about? You can't put up black decoration!" James exclaimed. They'd been fighting like cats and dogs over the past hour about various things. He was exhausted.

"Why not!?!"

"It a Valentine's Day ball! Pink, red and white are the traditional colors!"

"But pink is soooo ugly!" Lily whined.

"Oh well!"

"Oh well my ass, James Potter! We are **_not_** putting up…" she had to struggle to say it. 

"P-pink decorations!"

            "We have to! It's tradition!"

            "Well screw tradition!" she said fuming. "Since when am I traditional? Huh?"

            He glared at her. "I never said you were! St. Claire'd kill us!"

            "Like hell he's gonna _touch_ me!"

            The angry pair stood face-to-face, well actually face-to-chest considering Lily was almost a foot shorter than James, glaring daggers at each other.

            Suddenly, James got a crazy urge to scoop her up and kiss her. It was uncontrollable, so he gave into it. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her full on the mouth.

            At first she resisted, then she melted into it. Her fingers delved into the hair at the nape of his neck. The kiss seemed to last forever but it was over all too soon. 

When they broke apart, they both had completely shocked looks on their faces. James's because he couldn't believe he'd kissed her and gotten away with it and Lily's because she couldn't believe she'd enjoyed it.

Out of nowhere, she said softly. "How about all white? That's the Chinese mourning color…"

He burst into laughter and hugged her to his chest. It felt so right…

                                    *          *          *          *

The next morning, Lily awoke with a floating sensation surrounding her body. She felt really light for some reason. And that reason was none other than James Potter. 

_I must be out of my mind… _she thought. _I'm supposed to hate him for Chrissakes!_ She shrugged, tugging on her socks and shoes. _I will !not! fall for James Potter, I won't!_

"I do hate him!" she told herself, though she didn't believe it. She sighed. "I really have gone out of my mind."

Lily grabbed her bag and headed for breakfast, shaking her head in disbelief.

                                    *          *          *          *

"You WHAT!?!?!?!?" Sirius shouted.

"Shhh….. kissed her… I dunno, it just happened."

Sirius was looking at him with a gaping mouth. "I can't believe it. Evans!? You'd think she would have slapped you silly afterwards."

James shrugged. He was just as confused about it as Sirius was. "Like I said, it just _happened. But don't go telling anyone, okay? Lurlene'd skin me alive if she ever found out."_

                                    *          *          *          *

The scene in the common room between Lily and James was a complete secret, so naturally school knew. James was in deep shit and he knew it. Lurlene would go after Lily and James didn't want that. The whole kiss had been him; Lily was just along for the ride.

He managed to avoid the dog pack until dinner; Lurlene marched straight up to him and smacked him across the face.

"How dare you humiliate me!"

"Easy." James was tired of her; he'd seen this same hissy fit a thousand times before.

"Why you…" James saw her face turn bright red, and her cheeks puff up like balloons. She smacked him again. He could feel the throbbing hand print on his face.

James noticed that a crowd had begun to gather around them. He was uneasy. Most of them would be on Lurlene's side and if he wasn't careful, he could very well find himself the victim of a gang beating.

He was so distracted that he didn't even see Lurlene pull out her wand until she yelled, "Furnunculus!" A jet of green light hit him full in the face, and giant mushrooms began popping out of his skin. It was worse than the wart potion "accident".

Professor McGonagall came bursting through the crowd and grabbed Lurlene's left wrist. Unfortunately, her wand hand was the right one.

"Engorgio!" She screamed, blinded by rage.

McGonagall began blowing up like a balloon. ((a/n: like Aunt Marge in PoA.)) She floated up off the floor, yelling like mad for someone to help her and flailing her now stubby arms and legs.

At that moment, Lily, unfortunate for her, walked in with Ria and Sara.

"You!" Lurlene was screaming like a banshee. "You little tramp! How dare you!" Lurlene pointed her wand at Lily furiously. "Diffindo!" the severing charm…

Lily quickly turned away, but alas, her long hair fanned out behind her and that's what the curse hit. Ria and Sara watched in horror as about twelve inches of gorgeous, blood-red tresses hit the floor. ((a/n: There you go Marion! Better?))

Lily looked at her hair then at Lurlene then back at her hair and finally, back at Lurlene. When she spoke her voice was cool, calm and collected. "Thanks, I was going to cut my hair anyway. You saved me the trouble." She grinned antagonistically. 

Lurlene let out a ferocious howl. "Densaugeo!" Lily was unable to dodge the speeding beam of red light. It hit her in the middle of her face. Her hands went immediately up to cover her nose.

"That's enough! Expelliarmus!" A deep voice said from behind them. Lurlene's wand went flying right into the hands of Professor Kendall, the Potions master. "What are you doing!? Attacking a professor and two fellow students! That's a major no-no!" He grabbed Lurlene's arms and led her to the door. "I wonder what the headmaster will have to say about this." Kendall turned "Potter! Evans! Hospital Wing!"

                                    *          *          *          *

Two weeks passed and Lily was having a much better time of life than the past three years. It turns out, Lurlene got expelled for attacking a professor, and so she wasn't there to torment her and Ria. So, the dog pack dispersed and quit torturing her. Plus, her pills were finally working right and people stopped making snide comments to her as she passed in the hallways.

She was happier most of the time but there were still occasions when she sunk as deep down in the ditch as you could go. Despite herself, she began to look forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays, she was beginning to look forward to seeing James…

It was against all her self-imposed restrictions on herself. She was supposed to be the rebel damnit! Not some stupid ditz trailing after James Potter, Quidditch star. She was mad at herself for it. 

She couldn't believe that her entire life had changed within the course of three days… Mind-boggling!

                                    *          *          *          *

"So we need, lots of red glitter, white and red lace, some disco balls…" Lily looked at James and shook her head. "Make sure you tell Mr. President that the disco balls were all you, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Not a problem." He grinned.

She shook her head. "You're so messed up."

He grinned wider. "I know! You love me anyway…"

Lily snorted. "Keep telling yourself that. Just keep telling yourself that."

"I will!"

She smiled. "Anyway… what else did we need?"

"Uhh…. fog charms!"

"What? No! All that will accomplish is giving people more places to hide and snog!"

"Exactly my point, dear Evans."

"God, why can't you grow up?"

"Because I like being a child! More fun, less responsibility."

She shrugged. "That it?"

"That's all I can think of at the moment."

"Alrighty."

James looked at her. She was so cute when she wrinkled her nose like that. He decided after that first night that it was better to be nice to her than to be rude and have her knock you in the balls all the time.

She would be really gorgeous if she'd just take more care in her appearance. He could turn her into a real betty if she'd let him make her into one. He doubted that would ever happen though. 

"Well… I think we're done for now. We can give the rest of this stuff to Tommy on Thursday, kay?"

"Okay…"

He watched her disappear up the stairs, and smiled. She wasn't as bad-ass as she tried to pretend she was. _She's my new mission…_ he thought to himself. _She sure is…_

A/n: So? What'd ya'll think? I know the romance thing came a little fats but just wait… I have so many twists in this story that you'll never know which way's up. Hehe. I love all you people who reviewed! You're all such sweetie's!

BE A RESPONSIBLE READER AND REVIEW!!!


	4. Medical Disaster

Only One Life to Love You  
  
Disclaimer-HP stuff doesn't belong to me, other stuff does. (a true zippy disclaimer…lol)  
  
A/N: Hello again… I know the romance came a little quick, I know that but… just trust me. Sorry it took so long to update, I had this great brainstorm for this chapter and my twisted mind compelled me to plan it all out before I wrote it. Plus, I had finals to study for… Crappy, no? Now I'm on winter break, I was too damn lazy to write anything. And I've been working on my book whenever I actually felt like writing, but I'm gonna shut up now and get on with it, k? Here goes. btw, means thoughts i couldn't get my comp to upload the italics.  
  
Oh, and responding to a review by Alriadne:  
Sorry bout using that word too much. I have gay friends also, and even they use the word in a derogatory manner. I'm just used to it… I'll try to stop myself in future chapters.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Circumstances rule men; Men do not rule circumstances.  
~Herodotus  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Chapter 3- Medical Disaster  
  
  
"Lils… are you okay? You look a little green." Ria looked at her friend with concern. Lily never got sick. Her immune system seemed to be constantly working overtime.  
"Yeah, Ri. I'm fine." Lily didn't sound so sure.  
"I think you should go and see Mme Moss. Just for a check." Lily started to protest but Ria cut in. "Pwease Lils? For me?"  
Lily sighed. She really didn't want to admit it, but she agreed with Ria. She didn't feel so hot. "Whatever. I will tonight."  
"No, you'll go NOW."  
"But… I'll miss class!"  
"Too bad." Ria dragged her protesting bud out the door and down the stairs. They were halfway across the common room before Lily called out to her. Ria normally wouldn't have stopped but Lily sounded really… crappy, for lack of a better word.  
"Wait, Ri. I d-don't… fee… s-so goo…" Lily's eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out before she could finish her sentence.  
  
****  
  
James was sitting by the fireplace with Sirius and Remus when they heard a great thud from behind them. The three boys turned around. Lily Evans was lying on the floor. And Ria was trying to lift her, but she couldn't seem to get her up.  
James hurried over to the two girls. He saw that Lily wasn't conscious. "Ria, what happened to her?!"  
"I dunno, we were going to the hospital wing when she just… fainted."  
James scooped her up into his arms and found that she was really light. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why Ria hadn't been able to lift her. To his left he saw Sirius and Remus watching him, not saying anything, which was uncommon for Remus and even more uncommon for Sirius. And to his right, he saw Ria looking at him with a mixture of thanks and amazement.  
When he set off out the door, the three of them followed. Two in curiosity, one in concern.  
"Do you have any idea why she would be sick?" James asked Ria.  
"No, she never gets sick." Ria was worried sick, it was obvious. "When we woke up this morning, she was looking a little wilted, so I convinced her to go to the hospital. Like I said, we were on out way when she passed out in the common room."  
James was confused. His parents were like feudal leaders; they had an entire village on their land. When James was younger, he had gone around with the healer on calls. He'd seen a lot of illness, but nothing like this. He figured that it was just an advanced form of something ordinary, she just hadn't been treated.  
He looked down at the unconscious girl in his arms. She's so beautiful. He thought. He had never realized it before, but she had little rows of freckled across her cheeks and nose, they gave her a fragile, innocent air, made her look like a little girl. How he longed longed to reach out and brush the long, ruby-red tresses from her doll-like face. He wondered what she smelled like.  
When they finally reached the wing; Mme Moss, the school nurse, rushed over to them. "Oh my! Come, bring her over here."  
James laid her down on a small wooden bed and watched Mme Moss fuss over her. "You all can leave now, I'm sure you have classes to get to." Mme Moss look pointedly at them.  
Ria sighed but nodded, nonetheless. "Yeah, let's go." Then she left, the guys straggling after her.  
  
****  
  
When Lily woke up, she didn't recognize where she was. Her entire body hurt like hell. She tried to talk, but her throat was all scratchy, her limbs felt heavy, her head was pounding like a jackhammer. She groaned, feeling like someone had dropped a piano on her and all her bones were broken. Her fuzzy eyes finally came into focus and she saw Ria sitting in a chair next to her bed, looking out the window.  
As if her friend could sense her awareness, Ria turned her blue cat eyes upon Lily. "Lils! Your awake!" Ria bounded up fro her chair and bounced onto the bed, jostling Lily roughly.  
"Ouch!" Lily yelped. "Damnit Ri! Be careful, I'm in pain here!"  
Ria gave her a pouty face. "I sowwy, you fowgive me?"  
Lily giggled and patted her rather hyper friend's knee. "It's alright."  
Before Ria had a chance to remove herself from Lily's arm, which she had landed on, the door of the hospital wing burst open and in poured Sara, Nichelle and Ayeka.  
"Lily!!! Yay! You're awake!" Nichelle squealed.  
Lily scoffed at her. "Obviously. Keen observation."  
Nichelle grinned. "I know."  
Lily rolled her eyes at her extremely daft bud.  
"Oh god Lils, you'll never believe who carried you up here!  
Lily was puzzled; she figured Ria had dragged her up. "Who?"  
"James Potter!"  
"Ewww!"  
"it was classic. You fainted in the middle, and I do mean middle, of the common room. Then James carried you up here with his friends and Ria trailing behind. What a show!"  
Lily was shocked, well not really but she could pretend she was, "Whoa… Hoy, did Mme Moss figure out what's wrong with me?"  
"It's the strangest thing!" Ayeka began. "She can't figure it out. You've been in here for almost two weeks and she's still completely stumped as to what has been ailing you."  
Two weeks!?!?!?!?!!?!" Lily shuddered. "God, I don't even want to think about the stacks of homework I have waiting for me. But anyway, so what id she going to do about me?"  
"Well, she's sending you home for the time being, to a muggle doctor. Moss thinks that maybe one of them can figure it out."  
"no! I can't leave now! I have too much work to do! And the committee thing! If we leave planning to James's dumb self, we're going to end up with wall chains and chesty women in leather carrying whips!"  
The four girls burst into hysterical laughter. Lily would have yelled at them but her throat hurt like hell, even worse that before.  
Mme Moss must have heard the commotion because she peered out from behind one of the curtains around Lily's bed. "Well, you're awake! That's good. You all should probably leave now, if you don't mind."  
After Lily's entourage grudgingly departed, Mme Moss brought Lily clean clothing and a brush, then proceeded to fuss over her like a mother hen. "we'd better get you cleaned up. you're parents are coming to get you… well, actually, you're going to them. We can't have them seeming you looking like you've been locked in a dungeon for the past two weeks now can we?"  
"But Madame Moss, I can't leave school! I've got too much to do, and what about homework?!" lily was just stalling now, she knew perfectly well that they'd probably come up with solutions for all this anyway.  
"Professor Dumbledore is having a general overview of all the information you will need drawn up by your professors. Much shorter than the assignments you would have had to do. Also, Professor Dumbledore has allowed your friend Mirabella to take over your duties to the Ball committee while you're away."  
Lily sighed; there was no way she could get out of going home, well, not any way she could think of. Damnit, Petunia in my face is the last thing I need right now. If only she would drop off the face of the Earth, then ,y life would be a whole helluva lot easier. Least I'll get a break from James's ugly face. She sighed heavily then realized something. Oh my! I didn't think about him all lovingly! Yes!!!! I'm cured!!!  
She must have been grinning like a fool because Mme Moss shook her. "Are you alright? You look a little strange."  
Lily nodded. "I'm fine/"  
"Alright then. You'd best get dressed, Hagrid will be coming to take you to Hogsmeade station any minute now."  
Lily sighed even more heavily and managed to drag her pained bones out of the comfy bed. She realized that the clothes were hers, not the school's. Ri must have brought them up here.  
She quickly slipped into the blue jeans and green tank she'd been given and laced up the red Converse. Her mind was not on her clothing however. what the hell is wrong with me? I'm not even myself anymore. What do I have that's so bad that not even Mme Moss can figure it out? Maybe I'm dying… I can only hope.  
"Lily. Hagrid is here to collect you now. Your bags will be downstairs waiting for you."  
Lily nodded vaguely. "Alright…" she whispered, lacking the emotional strength to speak louder. She recognized what was going on now. Goddamn depression. Where are my pills? She wondered. Ri will have packed them for me… if she knows what's good for her.  
"Ms. Evans…. MS. EVANS!"  
Lily's head snapped up. "Huh?" she caught a glimpse of the nurse's stern face. "Oh… right. I'm coming."  
  
****  
  
"Well Ms. Evans. I hope ter see yer back soon. Get better!" Hagrid shouted after her as she reached for the portkey, which was someone's old, dirty sock. (Disgusting!)  
Lily nodded faintly at him, barely acknowledging him as being there and talking to her. Before she could offend him further, she felt a tremendous pulling at her belly as off she went.  
  
****  
  
"Lily darling! My baby." Lily's mother's arms enveloped her in a soft, warm cocoon. "My poor dear, you must feel terrible. Well, sheer up. You doctor's appointment is this afternoon. You'll be right as rain and back to school in no time."  
Lily barely heeded her mother's words, they were annoying, like a fly in Lily's ear.  
That's no way to think about you mother, young lady! The little inside voice scolded.  
So what! Why don't you leave me alone?  
Because you need to learn some manners!  
Go away…  
You are much too ride for…  
Go away!  
Young ladies should be mild mannered…  
GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!   
"Goddamn conscience…" Lily muttered.  
"What dear?"  
"Nothing mother."  
Lily's mother looked skeptical. "Alright. If you say so, dear."  
Lily stared out the window of her mother's little red Firebird and watched as London flashed passed her eyes.  
"Well, I bet you're glad to be home."  
Lily shrugged. "I guess."  
"Is your depression acting up again, dear? Where are your pills?"  
"I dunno, in my bag somewhere I guess." she snorted. "If Ria's stupid self even remembered to pack them for me."  
"Why was someone packing for you?"  
"Mom, I've been unconscious for two weeks. I don't thin I could pack in that time." Lily answered sarcastically.  
"No need to get snippy, Lily. I was merely asking a question."  
Lily sighed, but didn't apologize. doesn't she ever shut up? Nag, nag, nag…  
Lily dozed of slightly but was awakened, rather rudely, when the car's tires ran over the curb causing the little car to bounce quite unpleasantly.  
"Lily, hun. We're home."  
Lily opened her eyes groggily, in front of her was her home. No, Hogwarts is my home. My dorm is my home. This is merely my parent's house. This will never be my home again… the thought saddened her. She really did miss it here.   
"Lily!" her mother's voice broke into her mind. "Come now. Let's put your things in your room. Maybe after your appointment, you'll call Brielle? She's missed you terribly."  
Brielle la Celestyn was Lily's next door neighbor and childhood friend. They were inseparable until Lily got her letter. Lily missed her too…  
"Yeah, Mom. I think I will."  
The Evans' house was rather large for them being a middle-class family, even upper-middle class if you think about it. It was a huge two and a half story Victorian, complete with wrap-around porch and gingerbread trim. They lived in a rather old neighborhood, most of the houses were of the Victorian period, a few even older.   
They house was painted, in following the Victorian tradition, in rich blues and purples with green trim. It actually looked rather well all mished together like it was. Lily's mother's prized yellow roses grew all around and even up the porch.   
Lily always loved their home. It had character, as everyone always said. And it did, it wasn't the typical suburban home, pre-fab and impersonal. Lily was glad for that, the house always felt so cozy.   
Lily grabbed her backpack from the front seat of the car and headed inside.  
"Lily, my baby girl!" Lily was swept up in her father's strong arms.  
"Daddy!" Lily grinned at him. He was the parent she took after. While red hair looked just fine on Lily, it made her father look like Bozo the clown, especially since he had a bushy beard and mustache.  
"Is my baby feeling poorly? Well, the doctor will fix you right up honey, don't you worry."  
"Hopefully not." came a spiteful voice from the top of the stairs. Lily turned to see her extremely funny-looking older sister, Petunia, standing there. The sneer on her face made her look like more of a horse than she already did.  
"Petunia Violet Evans! You apologize to your sister this instant!" their father boomed.  
"Sorry Lily." Petunia spat her name out like it was poison, then disappeared up the stairs again, obviously not trusting herself not to insult Lily again.  
"Don't listen to your sister, Lil. She's not a very happy person."  
Lily nodded.  
"How about you go put your things away then we'll head of to Dr. Stillman's office."  
"Yes, daddy." Lily scooped up her beat-up duffel bag and headed up the stairs.  
  
  
****  
  
A/N: Hey! I finally finished this chapter! I had such a killer writers block over this. I'm over it now… I think. I believe this is my longest chapter yet1 Yay for me! Well, I'm tired of this chapter so you won't find out about Lily's romantic urge for James just yet. Likie? No likie? Please, must… have… feedback…  
  
BE A RESPONSIBLE READER AND REVIEW! 


	5. Doctor's Appointment

Only One Life to Love You

Author's Note: Well, back for chapter five. I tried really hard to find a reasonably original idea for Petunia's hatred for Lily. I hate that whole, over-used, witch-hating thing. Plus, someone told me that I needed to come up with something better. Well, this was the best I could come up with, both staying true to what I've written already and to the book/movie's view of their relationship, or rather, lack of one.

Just a few notes for you before I start:

1.LESLIE HOWARD IS A MAN!!! For those of you who don't know, he played Ashley in 

movie classic "Gone with the Wind."

2.You can find bios of all the incredible old actors/actresses mentioned here at- http://www.reelclassics.com

3.Lily's mom's hair- http://www.hairarchives.com/private/archive/petal/petal.htm

************************************************************************

If you want the rainbow,

You must put up with the rain.

~Dolly Parton

************************************************************************

Chapter 4- Doctor's Office

Lily threw her things on her big, comfy bed and looked around her room. It was almost painful to see all of the stuff from her life before Hogwarts. Three of her walls were dark blue, but the wall that had her bed against it was painted plaid in shades of purple. Her sister Petunia had laughed cruelly when she had seen that wall. 

"Plaid!" she had shrieked. "What kind of loser paints their walls plaid. Oh wait… your kind!" Her voice had been malicious and slightly jealous. She had sneered and flounced out.

She had posters of Queen, Led Zepplin and The Beatles pasted all over her walls, not to mention Clint Eastwood, she'd seen his film "Kelly's Heroes" about four million times, plus her favorite old movie idols like Joan Fontaine, Virginia Mayo, Clark Gable and Leslie Howard.

She sighed and opened her rather bulky armoire. A sea of black and purple came rolling out at her. _Damn, meant to clean that up. _She thought.

Lily managed to extract herself from her clothing and began digging for something clean to wear. She selected a pair of purple cord pants and a sheerish black peasant top with huge angel sleeves. She gazed up at the picture of beautiful, statuesque Joan Fontaine that hung by her bed and sighed with longing. Lily thought that she was one of the most beautiful woman to ever live, next to Grace Kelly of course. Lily had secretly always dreamed of being like her.

Lily shrugged and brushed out her still extremely long hair. Lurlene's spell had chopped it off from her knees to the middle of her behind. Lily liked the change, it was easier to take care of. She clipped the blood-red mass back from her face with sparkly, purple clippies and sprayed it with some mini-mist instant shampoo. 

She rolled on some cherry kissing potion lip gloss and sprayed herself with some Enjoli and headed out, leaving the rest of her clothing laying in a heap on the bedroom floor.

"Lily!!! Are you ready!?"

"I'm coming mother! Keep it in your pants!" She yelled, barreling own the stairs.

"Hurry up! We'll be late!"

"I said! I'm COMING!" Lily's mom never got the picture, it was always nag, nag, nag.

"Well, get it moving. We can't keep Dr. Stillman waiting, he won't be happy."

Lily trudged into the kitchen, her mother was slathering pieces of bread with PB and J. She looked like a model on the front cover of Good Housekeeping. Rosemary Evans was dressed in a 50's style flared, polka-dotted dress, complete with crisp white apron. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled up into an elegant petal coif. She had her hands submerged in a sink of sudsy water. 

"Hello dear, are you ready?"

"Sure mom, whatever…"

"Don't be so negative dearie."

"Sorry mom, can't become Susie Homemaker overnight just to please you." Lily said sarcastically.

Lily couldn't see the look on her mother's face, but if she could have, she would have been just a little nicer. Rosemary closed her eyes shut, trying to calm herself down. Sometimes Lily could be so damn difficult. Rose shook her head and sighed, going ahead with her dish-washing. 

Before Lily could dish out any more sarcasm, Richard Evans came in, looking as jovial as ever. "Well sweetie, you ready?"

"Yes, dad."

"Let's go then!" Richard went to kiss his wife good-bye and hustled Lily out the door.

***

Lily waited _im_patiently in the doctor's waiting room. She felt like she was going blind. Whiteness all around. The walls were white, the floors and ceilings were white, the chairs were white, the desks and tables were white. The nurse was pale, blond and dressed in white. Worst of all, everything was _immaculately clean_. 

"Dad… can we just forget this and let me go back to school. This room is making my head hurt." Lily whined.

"Now Lily, I know you don't fell well, but please, it will make both of us, your mom and me, fell better. Please humor us, sweeting, just once?"

Lily squinched her eyes closed. She could feel a migraine coming on. Her parents were so paranoid sometimes. Always getting on her back, telling her what was best. Sometimes she wished she were an orphan, just so she could grow up unobstructed. _My life is one bloody guilt trip. Is it my fault Mum's unbalanced? No… it's not. Goddamn Petunia, always on me, stupid parents, always worried. "Are you alright, sweetie?", "Do you need something, darling?". Gag me with a spoon…_

"Whatever, Dad." she sighed, aggravated.

Lily's dad gave her a pained, sideways look. "Lily… can't you be a little more agreeable? Would it kill you to do that?" he asked quietly.

Lily glared at him and started to say something. A door opened. "LILY EVANS!" she heard her name called from behind her. She turned and saw her doctor standing in an open, and very white, door. Lily shook her head in exasperation and followed the extremely black doctor through the door, her father on her heels.

Once Doctor Stillman had them all seated, he folded his fingertips together and rested his chin lightly on his hand. "Well Lily. I heard you had a little _episode_ at school a couple of weeks ago. Can you tell me what happened?"

Lily studied the doctor carefully. He looked rather odd in this office. He contrasted starkly with everything around him. He was like a little black ant on a huge white marble floor. She shrugged. "I dunno." she answered, being purposely difficult.

"Come on Lily, you must remember something about it. Or maybe your friends told you what happened?" 

She shrugged. "Maybe."

"Lily, I need you to tell me…"

"What if I don't want to?" she challenged. 

"Lily…" her father's voice held a controlled warning.

"Dad…" she shot back sarcastically. 

"Lily, quite this. Just answer the man, he's trying to help you!"

"I don't need to be helped. I want to leave. **I want to go back to school!"**

"Oh, so you can faint again. I don't think so! Now answer him!"

Lily crossed her arms and put her chin to her chest, staring down at her feet. 

"Lily… we are not leaving until we get this resolved!"

Lily sighed and looked up at the doctor. "I was feeling bad, I was on my way to the nurse, I fainted, I was out for like two weeks. That's what happened! Alright! Happy?"

"Can you describe _how_ you felt bad?"

"My head hurt, my joints felt like they were scraping together. I was light-headed, faint and achy. I felt like throwing up. My moods were changing horribly. I didn't fell like myself anymore."

The doctor nodded vaguely, he was obviously absorbed in his thoughts. He flipped through Lily's file, which he had pulled from a nearby file cabinet upon entering the room. "You are taking… Zoloft. Are you not?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Hm…." he frowned, going back to his quite contemplation.

"So…….?" Lily's father asked impatiently.

Doctor Stillman looked up at him. "Oh… right. Good news."

Lily and her father looked on expectantly. 

"I know what's wrong with you. At least I think I do." He smiled.

Lily's father looked immensely relieved. "Good to hear…. So, what is it?"

The doctor turned to Lily. "You've been feeling better, have you not?"

Lily nodded.

"How long has it been since you've taken your medication?"

"About two weeks… " comprehension dawned across her face. "oh…"

"I believe you've been afflicted with a very rare, very violent condition called Aethracassitis. It's caused by a combination of side-effects from the medication and extreme stress. It usually hits very swiftly, and stays as long as you are on the medicine. This condition makes your muscles weaker and it gives you such utterly horrid mood-swings that it's like, as you so put it, you're not even yourself anymore."

Lily was immensely relieved. _So that's why I've been so strange around Potter later._ "Well… good to know…"

"So… I will write you a prescription for Desyrel, or more commonly referred to as Trazodone. Hopefully, it will control your depression and not cause a relapse."

Richard Evans nodded. "Well then, when will this prescription be available?"

"We…" Dr. Stillman began. "I could give about two weeks worth right now, you can send Lily back to school and pick it up later. Or we can have it ready in about two days and you and Lily can pick it up then."

"I'm going back to school. " Lily said stubbornly.

"We'll pick it up in a couple of days." Lily's father answered, looking at her pointedly.

"But…." Lily whined.

"We'll pick it up in two days." He gave Lily a don't-start-with-me-young-lady look.

Lily sighed loudly and crossed her arms. _Damnit! I don't want to be stuck with Petunia for the next two days…_she thought bitterly. 

She was so lost in her own sulky thoughts that she didn't even notice her father rise and got o the door. "Lily! Come on, girl!"

Lily looked up. "Oh… sorry Dad." She followed him out the door.

***

Later that night, Lily was laying on her bed, thoroughly engrossed in Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca. She had already read that book about a million times and the paperback was dog-eared, rumpled and tea-stained. She had just gotten to the part where the "second Mrs. De Winter" dresses as Rebecca for the costume ball, (She always thought it strange that the book's heroine was never credited with a name.) when Petunia came into her room.

"What the hell do you want Petunia?" Lily asked, idly.

"Don't take that tone with me you little brat."  
"If you are just going to insult me, then you can leave." Lily looked at her haughtily over the edge of the book.

"I want to ask you something."

"Then ask it AND GET THE HELL OUT!" Lily was getting extremely hacked off at her.

"Why are you such a little bitch to Mom and Dad?"

"What did you just say to me?"

"I asked you why the fuck you have to always be so rude to Mom and Dad. All they ever did was try to help and support you and you continually disrespect them!"

"You want to know why…?" Lily asked, her voice cold and calm.

"Yes… I want to know why." Petunia stared at her defiantly.

"Because you people ARE ALWAYS ON MY FUCKING CASE! Why the hell can't you just LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"You are so ungrateful… We had a perfect family before you got here. Nice and normal, no depression and no suicide attempts. Then you came a long and FUCKED EVERYTHING UP!"

The two girls were yelling at each other, Lily had abandoned her novel and was face to face with her sister.

"It's not my fault Mom can't handle life! It's not my fault that she slit her wrists! You can't blame that one me!"

"It was your fault! You told her that you hated her, that she was a lousy mother and that if she had any respect for others she'd drop off the face of the Earth! It was your fault Lily! I almost lost the only person I care about because you're a spiteful little bitch!"

Lily was quiet. She remembered that night. She had been 11 years old and her mother had told her to go take their golden retriever, Mab, out for a walk. Lily had been reading a book and was intensely hacked off at her mother for making her stop. When she had just walked the dog down the street and back, her mother had told her that she had to take Mab out longer. Lily had gotten even madder and had started yelling at her. 

"I told you so…" Petunia said quietly, reading Lily's expression Petunia shook her head and left. 

Lily sat down on her bed, numb. It had been her fault. She'd never seen it the way Petunia did. She had always thought her mother was the stupid one… it was her fault… Her mother had almost died because of her…

Lily curled up into a little ball and hugged a pillow to her chest. Tears rolled down her cheeks. _I almost killed my mother…_ she thought, angry at herself. _ I have to apoologize to her… I'll do it first thing tomorrow… _ Lily closed her eyes and drifted off into a fitful sleep.

***

AN: Well? Like? No Like? I need feedback!!!!!! Please review! What'd you think of the Petunia/Lily thing?

Next chapter: Lily has a confrontation with her mom, and she heads off back to school.

BE A RESPONSIBLE READER AND REVIEW!!!!!!!


	6. Underpants Gnomes

Only One Life to Love You

By: Zippity-Doo-Da

A/N: Well, it's been a long time since I updated, no? Here's the long-awaited 6th chapter. I've been too busy lately, studying for finals and auditions, plus I was In our spring play and had to practice every night for 2 hours… So stressed. But… now that school is almost over, I have lots more time to write. I'd also like to thank: Revia, Tate Moso And BastsCleopatra; for being my most loyal reviewers. I love you guys. =) And, due to request to hear James' POV, here it is.

****

Notice!!!! I'm in need of a trustworthy beta-reader! If you're interested, just say so in a review and make sure to leave your e-mail to I can contact you.

***

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them!

~Unknown

***

Chapter 6- Underwear Gnomes 

James sat quietly in the common room, staring into the fire. Behind him, the old grandfather clock struck midnight but he didn't even notice, he was too lost in his thoughts. His cluttered mind was overtaken by thoughts of a beautiful redhead, a girl he couldn't figure out, a girl who was supposed to hate him.

_What the hell is up with that girl?_ he wondered, confused._ First she hates me, then she likes me, then she hates me again. I wish she'd make up her mind._ James sighed heavily and leaned over, cramming his palms into his eyes sockets in frustration. He couldn't figure out why he felt this way, she was just a stupid redhead with and infuriating temper, those stupid green eyes, that porcelain skin… James shook his head furiously. 

He shouldn't be thinking these thoughts, she was a psycho for god-sakes! You could never tell when that girl was going to blow up at you or kiss you or… James gazed back at the fire, longing for someone he didn't want to be longing for. _I'm just a kid! I'm too young for this.._

After another heavy sigh, James stood up shakily and crossed to the portrait hole. He stopped for a moment and looked at the clock that he hadn't noticed before. _Damn…_ he thought before retrieving his invisibility cloak from his dorm and heading out anyway. 

James wandered, without really caring where he was wandering to. He found himself standing at the door to the astronomy tower. He opened it and walked up the stairs, staring at the sky once he reached the top.

The night was beautiful and balmy, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. James identified Octans, the Octant, Aquarius, the water-bearer, Grus, the crane, Pegasus, the winged horse, Lacerta, the lizard, Piscis Austrinus, the southern fish, and Cepheus, the King of Ethiopia.

James enjoyed the story of the Cepheus, he thought is was exciting and somewhat romantic, in a strange sort of way. 

As myth had it, on his way back from his victory against the Gorgons, Perseus, Medusa's killer, came across a woman chained to a rock, waiting to be sacrificed to a sea monster, called Cetus. This woman was Andromeda, the Princess. Her mother, Cassiopeia, boasted that she and her daughter were more beautiful than the Nereids, which were the daughters of Poseidon, the god of the sea. Angered by the insult to his daughters, Poseidon sent floods to the lands ruled by Cassiopeia and her husband, King Cepheus. Cepheus consulted an oracle who told him that the only way to quell Poseidon's anger was to sacrifice his daughter. Luckily, Perseus came on the scene just in the nick of time and killed the sea monster and saved the princess.

He didn't know why, but he was fascinated by mythology of all kinds. He loved the adventure, the heroes, the beautiful women ((a/n: *wink wink*))… James really was a hopeless romantic at heart. Growing up, he was ignored by pretty much everyone. His parents were Aurors and were often away on business, he had learned to get along by himself but ever since he had gotten older, James had an overwhelming need to be loved. 

James scratched his head in thought, maybe that was why he was having such an infatuation with Lily. It was _Lily_ for god's sake! She wasn't exactly the most lovable person in the world.

James stood there gazing at the stars for a while longer before heading back the common room. As he neared the portrait hole, he heard a great crash from inside Gryffindor Tower. He sprinted into the common room to find none other than Lily sprawled on the hearth with her bags. 

James was bewildered, what was she doing back? He hurried to her side. "Lily?" He shook her shoulder. "Lily?"

Lily groaned and opened her eyes. "James?"

"What the hell are you trying to do woman?! Kill yourself!?"

She scowled at him "Don't scold me James Potter! I'm coming back to school, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're trying to break you skull open!"

"Would you leave me alone!" She said grumpily.

James sighed in exasperation. "You're impossible, woman."

"Don't call me _woman_, I do have a name you know." 

"Fine! You're impossible, _Lily_! Happy?"

Lily gave him a sarcastic grin. "Very."

He shook his head. "You really are impossible."

"I know."

He shot her a slightly amused sideways glance. She saw him and smiled, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"So, they figure out what's wrong with you?"

Lily looked down at her feet. "Yeah…"  
"And?"

"Some strange malady that I've never even heard of before. Apparently, my medicine combined with all the stress triggered it." She sighed, silently wishing that she could be normal. Life would be so much more normal.

"Hmmm.." James didn't know what to say, he wasn't used to talking about medical problems and medicines. "They put you on a new medicine?"

All of a sudden, Lily stood up and violently seized her luggage. "That's none of your business James Potter!" she shouted and stalked up the stairs to the girl's dorms.

James sat on the floor, watching her retreating back, confused. What had he said? What had set her off like that? James got up and dusted off his robes then walked up to his dorm, shaking his head. 

As he crawled into bed, he vowed to himself that he would figure out the enigma that was Lily Evans. He closed his eyes to sleep, but sleep was a long time in coming.

******

The next morning, James was awoken by Sirius and Remus arguing loudly over something. He peered, groggy-eyed, out of the curtains. James' two friends stood in the middle of the room, both at battle stances.

"What are you talking about?! Of course The Beatles are better than Styx!" Remus shouted.

"No they aren't!" Sirius shouted back.

James, peeved about being woken up, get out of bed and yelled at the two of them. "What the hell! When you're going to wake someone up yelling, at least make sure it's something important!" If James were a cartoon character, there would have been steam pouring from his ears.

The two Marauders stopped and stared at him, looking sheepish. 

Sirius grinned. "Sorry bout that old chap, got a tad carried away."

"Yeah, won't happen again."

James grumbled back at them incoherently and shuffled off to get ready for class. 

Sirius, Remus and Peter all exchanged looks. 

******

Lily, with large bags under her eyes, trudged down to breakfast the next morning with Ria, Nichelle and Ayeka. She hadn't slept much after her little row with James. What had made her act that way? She sighed. 

Ria disturbed her quiet thoughts. "So, how'd you convince the parental units to let you come back without medicine?"

Lily looked up at her and grinned, "I didn't. I stole some Floo powder from the common room before I left. I waited until my family was asleep then I snuck out and hopped a metro to London, I used the fireplace in the Leaky Cauldron to get back here. Did you know that the common room fireplace is connected to the Floo Network?"

Ria grinned appreciatively. "Good one, Lils. Couldn'tve done it better m'self." Ria clapped her on the back and laughed.

"I don't know how you did it, Lily. I would never have been brave enough to run off like that." Ayeka said quietly. The comment wasn't at all surprising considering Ayeka was a very shy little Oriental girl, a race that wasn't known in particular for their rebelliousness. 

"it was easy, I just thought about being around my sister for the next couple of days and there was all the motivation I needed. I don't need her putting me on guilt trips." Lily turned sulky at this comment and her mind turned to what her sister had said to her. 

"Lily?" Lily heard Ria's voice break through her thoughts. 

"Huh? Oh, sorry I spaced out."

Ria gave her a strange look. "Are you alright? You seem… distracted. " Lily could see the look of concern on her face.

"I'm alright, don't worry."

Ria looked skeptical, but dropped it anyway. 

"Oy! Lily!" Lily whirled around at the sound of someone calling her name. She saw Sirius waving at her frantically from the Gryffindor table with James looking extremely embarrassed next to him. 

"What is it, Black? There something you need?" She asked icily.

Some of Sirius' exuberance seemed to disappear, he looked confused. Sirius had obviously thought that she had changed. Lily felt immediately guilty for being so rude. She gave him a small smile and dragged the rest of her entourage to the opposite end of their house's table. 

Ria was grinning at her as they sat down. "Now there's the Lily I know. Glad to have you back."

Lily gave her a harassed look. "I'm I really always a bitch like that?"

Ria laughed. "Nah, only to them… and Little-Ms-Daddy's-Money Lurlene. But she's not a problem anymore now is she?"

Lily smiled slightly. "Nope, thank God."

"You took care of that one. Nichelle commented.

"No, she took care of herself. I bet she thinks it's my fault though."

"I'd bet on it." Ayeka put in.

"So would I." Ria seconded.

"Well, not as if I'll ever associate with her again so… why dwell on it? Let's eat!" Lily immediately dove into the bacon and eggs that were on the table, trying to ignore her friends… for once.

******

Sirius was insulted. "Well, I really thought she'd changed. She was so… _nice_ after you kissed her. Guess her time in the muggle world reversed her perspective."

Remus shrugged, his nose buried in his Defense Against the Dark Arts book entitled Beating the Snot out of the Dark Side by Eville von Hatus. "I dunno, nor do I really care. Lily is you affair Jamsie-boy, not mine." Remus realized how very snobbish that sounded but… oh well.

James didn't reply, but watched Lily eating with Ria, Nichelle and Ayeka. She looked so… bubbly around her friends. He wished that he could make her like that… He sighed _I will do it…_ he thought determinedly. _ I will make her truly happy._ _I know I can do it. _ _ I know I can._

Something hit James in the side of the head, he looked down and saw a chunk of bread. He looked around to see Lily looking guilty as can be. As soon as she saw him looking, she gave him a mischievous grin and looked back Ria.

James shook his head, god that girl was confusing. He stood up and grabbed his bag. "Well, time to head off to Care of Magical Creatures." The four boys headed off toward the grounds.

******

The day passed rather uneventfully for Lily, classes passed smoothly and she was soon back in the dorm with her friends. Nichelle was painting her nails and listening to disco music on her specially made radio. Nichelle's dad was scientist and has figured out how to infuse the metal of a radio with certain spells that kept it from overloading itself at Hogwarts. Ayeka was reading something she called manga. It was like a comic book except for it was covered in weird line symbols that Ayeka could apparently read. Ria was digging through her trunk for something. Lily was sitting on her bed reading Gone With the Wind. And the fifth girl, Irene, whom they really didn't care for too much, was looking through a fashion magazine.

All of a sudden Ria stood up and shouted "Where are all my panties!!!??"

The other four inhabitants looked up at her in surprise. "What!?" The all asked in unison.

"My underwear! Every single pair is missing!!!" Ria was fuming.

"How is that possible, Ria? No one wants your knickers… besides Peter Pettigrew, of course." Lily giggled, little Peter had a major thing for Ria ever since 2nd year. They loved to tease her about it.

"Lily Malvina Evans! Don't you dare ever bring that up again!" Ria tackled her. The two girls rolled around, giggling, on the bed, knocking things round. They must've made quite a racket because someone poked their head through the door. 

"Excuse me?" The person said.

Lily and Ria stopped mauling each other and looked up to see none other than Sirius and James. "What?" they asked, embarrassed

"What, may I ask, is going on in here?" Sirius asked. "You all are scarign the 1st years."

"Ria's panties have all gone missing." Ayeka explained. 

"Want us to ask Peter if he has them?" James asked, solemnly. 

"NO!!!" Ria shouted. "WHY ME!!!!!!" she sank to the floor in mock pain. "Why me Lord?"

"Mebbe the underpants gnomes stole them…" Sirius suggested.

"Underpants gnomes? What are those?" 

"Underpants gnomes! They steal people's underpants so they can sell them and make money!"

The five girls stared at him, dumbstruck. None of them could figure out what the hell he was talking about. 

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?" They all shouted.

Sirius and James rolled their eyes. And burst into song.

__

I'm an underpants gnome and I'm okay,

I work all night and sleep all day.

(I'm and underpants gnome and I'm okay,

I work all night and sleep all day.)

I climb up pants,

I take off skirts,

I go through dresser drawers.

I sometimes get aroused,

And go through women's bras

(And go through women's bras)

I'm an underpants gnome and I'm okay,

I work all night and sleep all day.

I freak out Tweek

I go through phases

Numbered one two three

We get the underpants and go about our work

Back in our nice warm tree.

(Back in our nice warm tree)

I'm un underpants gnome and I'm okay,

I work all night and sleep all day.

I cut off belts.

I tak off clothes.

I'll do anything at all.

I won't stop until I get the undies.

Off everyone near and far.

(everyone near and far.)

The girls just stared at them, slack-jawed. 

Lily was the first to speak. "Oh… my… Lord… I'm scared."

Ria jumped back up on the bed and hid behind Lily. "Me too."

Nichelle looked at them patronizingly. "You know, they have help for people like you."

The boys grinned. "Thanks." 

Lily shook her head and got up off the bed. "goodnight boys." She gently shoved ((a/n: that's kinda contradictory isn't it?)) them out the door and shut it. After they were gone, she leaned on the door and grinned.

"God they're debases."

Ria laughed." Yep, but they're actually being amusing now. Don't get used to it. Who knows when they'll snap and go back to being assholes."

"Good point."

******

A/n: Well, that's it for chapter 6. I know this is short but… oh well. I can't think of anymore to write. What'd you think? Likie? No Likie? I need input! I'm sick of getting no reviews!!!! I'd better get at least 5 this time. *pouts* I'm so under appreciated.

BTW, yes, I do know that the underpants gnomes are a newer invention but… oh well! I put them here and they're staying.

Anything ya'll would like to see in alter chapters? Questions? Comments? Flames? All are welcome.

Brownie points for anyone who can tell me where the underpants gnomes are from!

BE A RESPONSIBLE READER AND REVIEW!!!!!


End file.
